My husband is the calmest person I know, if you want an argument, which I never do, he is not the man to try and antagonise, it simply will not happen. There was an incident where someone literally stole his Hungry Jacks away from him in a lunchroom and he just let her have it because she was hungry, no questions asked. He just wandered back to Hungry Jacks and ordered some more. I suffer from anxiety, and by my own admission, get cranky at him and overreact about things that are not even close to his fault. When I'm being particularly cranky with him, Gobinda looks at me and says, “How long since you've been to yoga meditation?” In the western world, “yoga” is generally referred to as the poses or the asana, and “meditation” is about calming your thoughts. In Nepal, where my husband is from, it is regarded as the same thing, the yoga poses are done to allow the body the movement to be able to remain in seated meditation for a long period of time. I find it endearing that my husband takes this approach. Most men would yell at me questioning why I was being such a cranky biatch, causing me further agitation, I would get my back up, make it his issue, resulting in a day of drama. Gobinda’s spin puts the onus back on me to calm my mind and not take it out on him. I have to say that it does work. It is because he gives the impression that he is concerned about me and genuinely perplexed as to why I am behaving in a manner, that, to him, is irrational…ok, ok, so it is irrational! Damn anxiety! I tell this story to convey two points. 1. Self-care is the last thing that should be dropped when you are feeling stressed. Nearly all of us let positive habits drop when workload increases but when we feel stress rising then more than any time, we need to:
guard our sleep like gold.
eat well and get our daily vitamins.
limit alcohol consumption.
make exercise a priority and
maintain any stress coping strategies.
2. Coming from a place of genuine compassion can defuse even the most volatile situations. When we feel attacked it is natural to become defensive but if we can remove ourselves from taking it personally and try and see another point of view we will likely get an amicable outcome. Recognise that there may be other factors at play and the behaviour may have nothing to do with us. The positive affect that yoga has on wellbeing is far more than anecdotal amongst couples…there are many papers which provide scientific evidence of improvements in perceived stress including significant improvements in anxiety, depression, fatigue, headaches, and overall physical fitness. How long since you have put your mental health as your top priority? It is amazing how things seem to be easier when you do.
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