We all like to believe that we would stand up to injustice, confront a bully, or challenge something unethical in the workplace. However, the reality is often much harsher. Whistleblowers frequently suffer significant personal costs. The system isn't designed to support victims effectively, exposing them to further psychological injury while pursuing a bully.
The Cyclical Nature of Bullying
Bullying is often cyclical. Some individuals grow up to become bullies because they were bullied at home or by their peers. These people tend to feel insecure and attempt to overcome it by feeling superior to someone else, which leads to them bullying others. Interestingly, some bullies experience the same insecurity without a traumatic past. This cyclical nature makes it more important to stand up to the bully, to break the cycle and help them understand their behaviour is not acceptable. The practice of paying out victims to go away and keep silent robs the victim being able to voice their grievance and pursue justice (often contributing to additional mental health issues) but also allows the perpetrator to continue the pattern.
Most people have been victims of bullying at least once in their lives. However, admitting this can be challenging. Bullying isn't always like what we see in movies, where the antagonist bullies the victim, and by the climax, everything is resolved, and both parties become friends. Instead, bullying can be subtle and complex. Victims may feel like they did something to deserve it, shame or guilt.
Preventing bullying starts with recognizing the signs and knowing how to handle such situations. The introduction of a new positive duty in December 2022 imposes a legal obligation on organizations and businesses to take proactive and meaningful action to prevent unlawful conduct in the workplace or in connection with work however this is very difficult to put into practice particularly as bullies are often in a position of power.
Should You Stand Up or Shut Up?
As someone who stood up to a bully, I wish I had gone into the situation with a few more stark realities and less vision of a super hero cape. While preparing to deliver a workshop on bullying, I was consulted about three instances of workplace injustice and bullying. These are strong and capable people who have strong cases, I did not encourage them to stand up, but made it clear should they wish to they had my support. Deciding whether to stand up to a bully or remain silent is a deeply personal choice. It's not a decision to be taken lightly, and there are several factors to consider:
Environment: Is your workplace supportive of whistleblowers, or are they often ostracized?
Resilience: Do you have the emotional and mental strength to deal with potential backlash?
Escape Plan: If things go south, do you have a plan to leave the toxic environment?
Finances: Can you afford potential financial instability if you lose your job?
Reputation: Are you prepared for possible damage to your professional reputation?
Support Networks: Do you have friends, family, or professional support systems to lean on?
Is It Worth It?: Weigh the potential benefits against the costs. Can your action help someone else?
Systemic Challenges: Recognize that the system does not make it easy for victims, but your actions can still make a difference.
A good case does not guarantee victory and trust me, there are no winners in these situations, just people who can build a life they no longer want to escape from. Standing up to bullying is a courageous decision that can lead to significant personal costs. However, by understanding the complexities of bullying and knowing the resources available, you can make an informed choice about whether to stand up or stay silent.
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