I'm not sure about you but I often feel a little awkward when giving and receiving gifts, more so when I'm giving them, interestingly. I have, however, over time, come to look at gifts as being fun and have taken the approach of only giving a gift when I find something that I know someone would like, rather than limiting it to when they are celebrating something. It seems to work better for me that way, I love a surprise, it also seems more personal as it is about the person not the time of year. More organised people may purchase it when they see it and keep it for a special occasion but I am likely to either lose it or forget about it so I strike while the iron is hot! My favourite gift to give or receive is books – that someone thought of me when choosing a book makes me smile, the person has often read it first and is an awesome recommendation. I give all of my client’s books that I think they may be able to learn from or gain an alternate insight. I am so excited to be able to give my own book as a gift now! Recently, got an unexpected gift in the mail from a friend and – it was a book, actually two. She also had a well-written card, which was full of compliments. I love handwriting cards and I like to make a special effort to include compliments that they may not be aware of. I like to think of compliments like gifts, they are always appreciated and can be something we learn from and also make us (the compliment deliverer) happy.
Researcher, Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tested the impact of various positive psychology interventions on 411 people, each compared with a control assignment of writing about early memories. One assignment was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had not been thanked for his or her kindness, and participants immediately exhibited a substantial increase in happiness scores. This impact was higher than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.
Compliments make both parties feel better, they encourage the deliverer to look for the positives to compliment on and they are free to give and receive. That is some compelling reasoning for handing out compliments whenever and wherever you like!
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