In Brené Brown’s documentary, a Call to Courage, which is a recording of a keynote delivery, she talks about showing vulnerability. She says that vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability but simply abdicating responsibility. This keynote is a prime example of how to tell stories to convey a message, and as leaders, we can all learn from Brené.
Humans are neurobiologically hard-wired for connection with other people. We need to feel like we belong and relate to others. Brené Brown says that we don't measure vulnerability by the amount of disclosure, but instead, by the amount of courage required to share it. When leaders share stories, which expose their faults, it makes them easier to relate to by those reporting to them. When people make mistakes, it may be suitable to approach it with a story of when you have made a mistake. When you show how mortified you were by making the mistake, it inadvertently shows the person how important it is to take responsibility for mistakes or at least learn from them, and at the same time, shows that you are not infallible, that you understand what it feels like to stuff up. This will achieve a better result than if you were to berate the person for the mistake it also shows the importance of learning from mistakes and the Bruce Lee quote:
“Any mistake is forgivable if one has the courage to admit it.”
Gabrielle Dolan, author of Stories for Work: The Essential Guide to Business Storytelling, understands the emotions that can be conveyed through storytelling and why they are so powerful. Good stories make us feel something as we listen to them; excitement, anger, sadness, empathy or enthusiasm. Consequently, feeling these emotions means we feel something towards the person telling the story, which helps create connection.
In the 2014 Harvard Business Review article, ‘Why your brain loves good storytelling’, Neuro Economist Paul Zak revealed the powerful impact the love hormone oxytocin has on the brain when we tell stories. Oxytocin is also often referred to as the ‘trust hormone’. Our bodies release it when we are with people we love and trust, when we hug, or even when we shake hands in a business meeting. It’s also released when we listen to stories. Oxytocin being released signals to the brain that everything is okay, and it is safe to approach others, essentially, that we won’t be attacked or eaten, as would have been the risk back in the day.
Showing vulnerability and sharing stories enables us to build stronger connections with people more quickly. We can create a psychologically safe environment where creativity can thrive as team members have the luxury of making a mistake and learning from it. Have a couple of good stories in your kit bag and you can deal with almost any situation.
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